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makoba
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KATIKA PITAPITA ZANGU NIMEKUTANA NA VICHEKESHO HIVI, SOMA UCHEKE

Thu Jul 27, 2017 8:16 pm

[attachment=0]emoj inacheka.jpg[/attachment]
Asubuhi nimeenda kwa shop nikapata mwenye duka amenyonga panya na mkono, nikamuuliza nini mbaya... akaniangaaaliiia akaniuliza, ni kifo gani inaeza fanya hii panya isikie uchungu,nikamuuliza kwanini. Akajibu, kwa hii duka kuna vitu tamutamu kama biscuit, mikate, madazi, chocolate but hii nugu ya panya imeona vizuri ikule kitabu ya deni na hakuna mtu alikua amelipa.  This one made my day
!
 
Mama ako anakesha anakuombea wewe Chausiku matembele ubarikiwe na ufanikiwe, wewe ndo kwanza umebadili jina unaitwa Queen of swaggz van Dimpoz! My dear unawapa kazi malaika kukutafuta wakupe baraka zako. Utaishia kusema hufanikiwi umelogwa kumbe umejiloga mwenyewe.

Kilichotokea Leo mahakamani.
Leo nimeenda mahakamani, mara jaji akasema…
Oda…! Oda….!
Mimi na kiherehere changu nikasema… Chapati … Maziwa na ovacado tatu …
Nimewekwa kwa ka-room kengine hapa kanagiza…
I think wananiandalia chapati.
 
Pombe sio supu, cheki hawa..!!
 
Jamaa wawili walikuwa wanakunywa pombe huku wakiongea na mazungumzo yao yalikuwa hivi;
 
Jamaa1: Unajua mzee wangu ni Polisi?
Jamaa 2: Weee kweli!? Hata mimi mzee wangu ni Polisi!
 
Jamaa 1: John is my last name.
Jamaa 2: (Akashangaa): Wow! Hata mimi My surname ni John!.
 
Jamaa 1: I'm 19 years old
Jamaa 2: What?. Usiniambie aisee!
(Akicheeka), I'm 19 years old too.
 
Jamaa 1: Usiniambia umezaliwa on the 13th of march na ukasoma Songea Boys?.
Jamaa 2: Yes! Nimezaliwa. 13th of march... Usiniambie naota maana nimesoma shule hiyohiyo.
 
Wakakumbatiana na huku wakilia...
 
Jamaa mmoja akashangaa sana akamuuliza mhudumu:

"Kuna tatizo gani na hawa vijana?"
 
Mhudumu: "Hawa ni watoto wa Afande John, ni mapacha sema wamelewa sana!".

 
Ili utajirike lazima ufahamu mambo makubwa mawili
Mambo yenyewe hata mimi siyafahamu ndo maana sijatajirika
Tuendelee tu kuhangaika ndugu yangu hakuna namna
 
When you want to charge your phone in a Football Viewing Centre and you mistakenly unplug the DSTV decoder during penalty shootout, that's the moment you will remember what your mum used to tell you that, your phone will kill you one day!

Unapoenda ukweni ghafla unaona wanakimbiza kuku bila kujua chochote unaropoka, "Jamani eeehh… huyo apikwe na wali" ghafla mama mkwe anakwambia "Nyooo huyu kuku hachinjwi anataga.
 
Wadau nashukuru sana kwa maombi yenu na msaada wenu wa hali na mali

 Nmefanikiwa kupata mchumba na ninatarajia kuingia wiki hii, ofcoz mchumba una madirisha makubwa na mlango mzuri shukran ziende kwa dalali!
 
Ukiwa na Tsh. 200,000/- na mkeo anazo Tsh. 500,000/- jumla katika nyumba yenu mtakuwa na Tsh. 200,000/- hii ndo hesabu kamili na ya uhakika. Wakubwa wamenielewa hapo Tuko sawa.

ONGEZA VICHEKESHO VYAKO!
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WAVUMILIENI! WANAPIGA PICHA ZA UTUPU ILI WAPATE PESA ZA KUNUNULIA NGUO!

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